In this seminar, the big idea is that pornography is pervasive, not victimless and a choice made by many before our brains make good decisions. Here’s a quick recap of each point and then links to some resources:

Pervasive – meaning it’s very accessible and everywhere

25% of all searches and 12% of all websites are porn related. Average age of exposure is 11 years old (was 12 a couple years ago). 67% of young men and 49% of young women believe it is a worthy form of sexual expression.

Not Victimless – most believe they aren’t hurting anyone

56% of all divorces cite porn as a reason. 4.5 million people are enslaved yearly in sex slavery. There is a connection to not only some porn being made by those enslaved, but that the industry itself is financing some realms of the sex trade. Consuming porn makes it more likely that you divorce and more likely to have decreased performance. Drugs are consumed more often than not before scenes are filmed (79% marijuana, 50% ecstasy) and scenes are often physically (88%) or verbally (49%) abusive. People are being hurt in making it, you are being hurt by consuming it. In fact, the brain itself is being rewired, as is being documented more and more (check fightthenewdrug.org for more).

Choice – we are hooked, but it doesn’t start that way

Brain development leads us to understand the consequences of our choices/actions between 18-22 years old. This is why teenagers do such stupid things! Sorry, had to say it. If the average age of exposure is 11, that means we are getting exposed and hooked before we understand the weight of what we are messing with!

The beautiful thing about Jesus is that He can restore/fix all things! Even if you feel “hooked,” there are ways to get unhooked! He loves you (so do we!), there is hope and it is never too late.

Some ideas to get started in seeking help:

Memorize scripture: Job 31:1, Psalm 119:11, Psalm 101:3, Matthew 5:28, 1 Corinthians 6:13, 2 Timothy 2:22 are good places to start.
Check out xxxchurch.com, covenanteyes.com or fightthenewdrug.org
Books that might help: Hooked, Redemption, Fallen, Every Young Man’s Battle, Every Young Woman’s Battle
Tell someone you trust and start letting them keep you accountable!

Some simple truths that we need to share with our friends.

God is real.

He created everything. It was good.

We destroyed all semblance of good.

God gave us the law to show us sin.

God promised a Messiah.

Jesus, our promised Messiah, fulfilled the law and freed us from the curse.

Our worship is a response to good news.

He is returning and will restore all.

This boiled down gospel presentation has a purpose. First, God is real is a very basic concept that is not naturally accepted by many of our friends. Even some of our church-going friends don’t believe this. We must start there. If He is real, who He is and what He does is important – He is the source of good and the creator of all. That is huge! We are not good and not creator. We destroy things – and we did that to God’s creation. We still do that. God loves us enough to show us the way – which He did in the law. Part of the law is the promise of one who would fulfill the law, be the king we need and provide access to the Father. Jesus is that Messiah! Not Buddha, Mohammed or any other Messiah-type history has thrown at us! Jesus is the one! Now that He freed us from the curse, we worship God in response. You and I may be perceived by others as a “good” person, but us being “good” is a response to God’s goodness. Being good doesn’t save us – Jesus does! We are following Jesus. He leads us to do good things. But good things don’t save us. He is coming back and when that happens, all will be made good! In the meantime, we wait eagerly. We also serve Him and join Him on mission to accomplish His purposes so that many more may hear about Him. It also means that things right now are not as they should be. We can’t expect them to be either. This world is broken and is not yet restored.

So, how does this play out? Here’s one scenario: A young lady, being pressured by her church-going boyfriend to have sex comes to talk to you and sort it all out.

Is God real? She thinks He is, she’s just confused because she “knows” the church has thoughts about sex and that the church is against it. However, she doesn’t see a passage that says a boyfriend and girlfriend can’t have sex. She believes He’s real, but is confused.

He created everything. It was good. Does she believe this? She’s not sure about “everything” and can’t figure out why sex is such a problem for Christians. This must be a place to hover. Spend time explaining God’s plan for relationships and physical intimacy. He loves the covenant of marriage and is fully in favor of physical intimacy – with the right guidelines! Hover until she is willing to at least give this a chance.

Here’s the sticking point – we break things! God is good, we are not. We take something beautiful and taint it until it hurts. We’ve done this with relationships and sex. This should be no surprise. We’ve done it in EVERY. OTHER. THING. God gave us!

Jesus made things right. Christian boys pressuring their girlfriends aren’t getting the Gospel. Jesus saved us – now we respond with worship (one aspect is waiting until marriage). If they’ve sinned and already are active – Jesus restores and fixes all things. One day He will do this for all! At the moment, it is done little by little.

I have met with many couples who have stopped being active sexually and have chosen to “start over” and worship God with their lives, minds and bodies. Praise Him, but this simple understanding of the Gospel can lead us to having better thoughts, better help and better plans for the future.

The great thing about this seminar was to hear from all involved and then boil down a better definition of leadership. I appreciate any interaction, so add your thoughts in the comments if you wish!

The list of attributes that those in the seminar gave and we kept are as follows: role model, friend, mentor, servant, brave, counselor, decision-maker, guide, peaceful, influencer, teacher, example, consistent, gracious, sacrifices for others, trustworthy, humble, flexible and approachable. I think this is a great list to start with and shows us what type of leader the world needs today!

We defined leadership as being best approached as a servant-leader and then defined dynamic leadership as “transformational leadership” which had four main tenets: A transformational leaders is 1) capable of creating and executing a vision of the future, 2) capable of inspiring others to join in that vision (30 second boiled down version!), 3) hopeful and able to develop members of the team (pass the baton!) and 4) able to see “the problem behind the problem.” This means that a true leader is interested in leading while making others better, stronger and helping them succeed. This is done while casting vision and highlighting the real issues, not the issues everyone else assumes are the “real” ones. Perhaps more on this will be written on by me some day.

The key to becoming this leader is hard, but simple, and we highlighted 4 keys:
1) Follow the Leader (Jesus!!!!)
2) Learn and Grow (keep reading and shadowing good leaders to grow)
3) Lead Home (if you aren’t leading well at home, you aren’t leading)
4) Redefine the List (take assumptions of what good leadership is, test them and try them)

We redefined the list you all gave and the second paragraph is what we landed on. Remember, just because many consider someone a “great leader,” doesn’t mean that they are a transformational leader. Aim to be a transformational leader!

Lastly, a request was given for some good books or resources on leadership. Here is a start:
Summoned to Lead
Public Faith in Action
Multiplying Missional Leaders
A God-sized Vision
Good to Great and the Social Sectors

These are just a few that I’ve found helpful (and different than most lists you will find!). I have read much by Bill Hybels, John Maxwell and Andy Stanley. Those are just authors on most church folks lists – the above list is a little outside the norm.

What a great conference! Seventh Hour did a great job again of leading worship. I thought Zane Black did a solid job of calling us to consider whether Jesus was our source of life or not. The students all seemed to be seeking God! It was a good weekend!

The following few posts are going to highlight some aspects of the seminars I led on Saturday afternoon. The first, a look at leadership, is going to give some of the final thoughts that we settled on. The second, Everyday Theology, is going to give the basics as shown in the seminar and give a practical example or two of how to apply it. The final, The Reality of Pornography, is going to put some of the information shared in the seminar and then provide some helpful links for those that are interested.

If you are following the blog for our reading through the New Testament – that will continue this afternoon and evening as I get time to “catch up!” Thanks for being patient!